Simply dreamy

2007-05-22T02:32:00.000-07:00

hey guys... so sorry for neglecting.

have been rather busy n lazy when i'm not busy. i tend to make myself so busy at most times due to my hardworking nature. heh.. i'm not bragging. wrote 2 of my colleagues a nice, personal, sweet note to say how i loved working with them. it's nice to observe pple in different situations n how one relates to another. if i were free n not feeling too lethargic, i'd prob do some kind of experiment, sitting somewhere sipping pure chocolate relaxing, quietly observing pple n writing some funny notes abt life n pple. i can picture myself doing just tat, maybe even sketching some stuff. i can be happy doing simple things as such.

was talking to a colleague whom i can clique with during dinner ytd. think we've similar working personality. not loud, tender, not very brave but strong emotionally, helpful n love to keep to ourselves. was rather shocked tat she n her husband din even let their parents know when they got married, cos they din really feel the need. however, in the same situation i figured i would react differently.

it's always a constant struggle to put God no. 1 in my life. At one point or another, i would choose myself, my boyfriend, my family n friends, the easier way out of problems instead of doing it god's way. Like today. sometimes i feel like it's too hard, sometimes not (cos am more hardened in my heart tat i dun even see the prob). When i feel i'm too tired n lack strength to carry on leading a life tat's pleasing to God, verses like "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the game goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." 1 corinthians 9:24-25

yippee! going for discipleship class after a week of break. missed it.

2007-04-09T23:50:00.000-07:00

hey guys, i'm back!
was down with tonsilitis for e past 2 wks. had 2 work night shift though i was quite sick. din wanna take mc cos it'll be very ma fan n very hard to find replacement. my supervisor was saying tat my other colleague on night shift took mc e same time i was sick, disrupting other pple's roster. if she knew i was sick too, how would she have reacted? prob screaming at me.. nobody knows e sacrifices tat i made n how tough it was for me, except god. does it matter, anyway? i'm not e kind who'll make a big fuss n makes sure everyone impt. knows wat's happening to me.

well, i tot i could love like God loved and accept e flaws of everybody around me. but i'm proved wrong. indeed it's not tat easy. a little discouraged, disappointed with myself n think i'm just a hypocrite, cos wat i think doesn't correspond with wat i feel in my heart. think i need to be patient 4 god to mould me into his shape.

my respected christian supervisor is leaving soon le. sad. how would e ward be like without her?
more cold n less human touch? hmm, we'll see.

was reading colossians ytd n came upon this verse chapt 1:10"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may you please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God." what high expectations Paul and Timothy had for the christans! worthy of the Lord n please Him in every way... Examined my life n i see myself falling short of tat expectation so many a times cos of my wretched self n was reminded of my previous sins. cried.. went on to read chapt 2:13-14 "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, god made you alive with christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code with its regulations, tat was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross." We are so victorious in God for He has overcome all our sins!

2007-02-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

Simplicity pls...

Qn: Why can't humans be more simple? isn't it tiring to guess each one's intentions? why always think tat everyone is so selfish tat they won't compromise their plans if they could?

Real-life scenario: received a call from my supervisor asking me if i could work today - Valentine's. said i already have plans today but if i could b off on 17th, it'll b great. cos i wanted to have reunion dinner with my family but could not. then she asked "if i give u rest day on tat day, u'll work today?" said i would give further considerations if so.

Reflection: tiring when u have to guard against other's intentions while protecting ur own interests. this short communication shows selfishness in both parties. Humans r selfish in nature. God made the world like tat so that His goodness would be contrasted in human's weaknesses n imperfection. it's in human imperfection that we see e full manifestation of God's love and grace. Humans can only rationalise and fail to see God's big picture cos we r so limited in intelligence.
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God's grace manifested in me

had a quarrel with sis cos of some stupid disagreement. cos i printed lots of pages n she had 2 change e ink cartridge for e printer n i refused 2 apologise when she demanded one. laughable when i look back. it's funny how we jeopartise our relationships cos of such small petty things. When humans sin in small n big things, refusing to admit and ask for forgiveness from God and others cos of pride, we jeopartise our relationships. If we could take steps to salvage e situation, relationship with God n others would b revived and prob even better than b4. like now it is for me, in God's grace :)

Tears kept coming 2 my eyes during worship on Sun @ church. Experienced God's grace n was reminded when i was singing this song. esp. since i realised i had sinned in such a terrible way the day earlier.

As we gather

As we gather may your spirit work within us,
As we gather may we glorify your name.
Knowing well that as our hearts begin to worship,
We'll be glad because we came
we'll be glad because we came.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new ever morning, new every morning,
Great is thy faithfulness, O Lord.
Great is thy faithfulness.

Really, God's faithful. No matter what happens, he loves YOU and everyone else. Never lesser, never more. cos His love and grace is infinity and boundless, immeasureable. tat e closest description tat man can understand is tat His love is deeper than the deepest ocean, wider than the sea. there's nothing he can't handle, u can trust Him with your deepest, darkest secrets and he'll deal with n throw it all away. choosing to forget all about it and loves you the same, unconditionally. where else can u find such love? Even if u dun know Him, He knew u from the start n planned everything for u, even before u were born. and He loved u, the same extent and depth as he loved everyone (murderers even). too gd to be true indeed, but it's real i can tell u.

Struggling to do what i know is right and pleasing in God's sight. Do pray for me. i want to be victorious for God but lack the strength and courage to be honest about it.

Happy valentines to all! May you come to know God who is the greatest lover.

Hey CK n WX, am so glad tat u r walking in God's light n tat's He's guiding n guarding your relationship. :) it's hard to keep away from sin but take a stand for God n be firm about it. Abraham was tested to give Isacc (His precious son) to God and chose to trust God in it, resulting in blessings from God and called God's friend (James 2: 21-23, Genesis 22:1-19). Suffer for God, reap blessings in e end. Be contented in God himself, everything else is secondary (including each other). do come to me if there's anything u need, i'll c wat i can do. be it in e form of encouragements or resources (books abt relationship in God) cos i'm learning more abt it too n probably can share from experience. will keep u guys in my prayers. :)

2007-01-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

@ sentosa's suspension bridge.
a white bird in e midst of peacocks. thorn amongst e roses or rose amongst e thorns?
me and dear's combined effort! part of e Perfect Castle.
too bad e rain came down n we had to stop.

e simple joys of building a sandcastle with kiddy tools.sth i've wished to do.
another simple joy of blowing pretty, short-lived bubbles :)

many simple joys of life. looking around @ God's wondrous creations (yup, including creepy crawlees..), reading e Bible n living it out. was wondering y i dun experience e extreme joy n thirst that i'm supposed to have as a child of God. So, God led me to read tozer's intriguing book " I Talk Back to the Devil". n i conclude tat it's cos i dun know God enough. Even Paul at His peak knew tat He still din know enough, n was still thirsting for God. "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect,but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Philippians 3: 12. There's so much more aspects of Him to discover. How could we, e christians nowadays, stop seeking His words n be contented with our spiritual condition when there's so much more God can offer? let's "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus". philippians 3: 14.

e yr came to an end n e new yr came. time really flies. my christmas was spent @ church n with my family. wrote all my family members cards, tot it would b really nice. :) i saw a hidden smile on daddy's face after i passed him his present n e card filled with love. :) tat small act drew us closer to each other. yay!

really thank God for bringing my lost friend back into His arms. She suddenly told me tat she's looking 4 a church suitable for her. it's like e parable of e lost sheep, lost coin n lost son. Luke chapter 15. i guess there must be so many of angels rejoicing in her repentance. just hope that it's a true repentance for her. shall talk to her soon.

2007-01-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

me and jian ming @ vivien's 21st bday celebration
vien e bday gal in her pretty princess-like outfit. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

trying to look fed-up?
e 3 beauties. hehe..

glad to be present on this special occasion of my bestie's. only realised we were each other's longest best friends; we knew each other since p1. such a nice n warm feeling to know tat. friendships r so wonderful. someone who cares n share her life with me n me with her n can fully understand me. one i can b very comfortable with. Thank God for creating friendships. :)

2006-11-27T00:05:00.000-08:00

i did e disappearing act once again. oops.. new blogskin. loved it cos it looks so angelic n pure. n i've always liked being on e swing, even now though i've grown older. whenever i'm on it, i feel so carefree.

With the knowledge tat God is working in my life everyday in many situations, i see his footsteps in my life n marvel @ His works. thank God 4 being in my life. n i know He'll cont. to mould me just e way i'm meant to till Jesus comes again. "And i'm sure of this, tat he who began a gd work in you will bring it to completion at e day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1: 6-7.

i know God is working in me, thru problems n trials. haven't been in gd health. had skin irritation cos of frequent handwashing at work. my hands appear red, inflammed n feels sore when i apply my med n when i use warm water 2 rinse it. n tat's not all. have some pain @ my left abdomen area, sometimes right n centre too. e doc thinks i might have some gynae prob. going 4 an ultrasound scan on 4th dec. it worries me tat i might have probs reproducing cos i love kids so much. came upon psalm 13 n matthew 6:26-27. "look at e birds of e air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, n yet ur heavenly Father feeds them. Are u not much more valuable than they? Who of u by worrying can add a single hr to his life?" Whatever happens, it's God's will, n i'll accept it.

Being in a relationship with JM has brought me closer to e Lord. n i'm thankful for Him in my life. We do sin n stumble sometimes, but we see how God brings us out of bad situations, teaches us lessons each time n uses us to bring each other back to God's words when we r down n out. :) God is gd, all the time. really. n being a christian doesnt mean i would have lesser probs, maybe even more. some would ask "why would u still wanna b a christian then?" well, cos i know no matter wat happens, e Lord my God would never leave or forsake me. a matter of fact, ur loved ones will leave u someday cos of disease, old age, misunderstandings... but God wont. furthermore, He forgives us n removes our sins eg. greed, lust, hatred. Just need to believe n accept Him. but whoever accepts Him must submit to him.

on night shift 2day. looking forward 2 meeting friends next wk. miss them. need 2 know how 2 better manage my time n money..

2006-09-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

Rejoice in the Lord
Rejoice in the Lord always and again i say rejoice!
Rejoice in the Lord always and again i say rejoice!
Rejoice, rejoice, and again i say rejoice!
Rejoice, rejoice, and again i say rejoice!

lyrics from a simple christian song which even nursery kids know how 2 sing.
tend to overlook e lyrics cos it's so familar. sang it when i was walking back from jogging 2day.
it's easy to rejoice in e Lord when we're filled with joy n happy events. wat about when we're overcome with sorrow or sufferings? Look to a fine example in e Bible. Job. God tested Him by taking away all tat he had. His sheeps, cows, camels, children, but he answered :"The lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." (Job 1:21) Then God took away his health, gave him sores all over his body. still he said :"shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) in spite of the cynical n demoralising comments tat his wife and friends said to him.

prayed abt me n JM. we're dating now, not tog yet. think it'll do both of us good 2 know more abt each other b4 we rush into a relationship. may e Lord teach us to b disciplined n prioritise.

2006-09-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

no, guys.. i din abandon my blog..
busy busy.. adjusting 2 changes @ work. learning how 2 nurse patients in high dependency unit. still haven really settled in cos my supervisors keep deploying me 2 other ward settings.. wat 2 do, i'm versatile n highly adaptable. haha, florence's skin is as thick as an elephant's.. was very irritated by my supervisor earlier on 4 "kicking me around like a ball" but shall choose 2 have a positive attitude towards e frequent changes..

caught e flu bug once again. on night shift. a little lost n blur. first set of nights @ HD. it's indeed not as busy as compared 2 my previous dept. but stress level still high. i do get messed up n lose my cool. first time nursing a post-liver transplant patient 2night. more things 2 learn yet again. Teach me n mould me, dear Lord. no matter wat it takes. may i please u in all tat i do. teach me 2 me firm n not conform 2 slipshod nursing practices. it's really not easy but i want 2 obey. :)

starting on purpose-driven syllabus in Sun sch. must brain-storm on how 2 make class more interesting n easier 4 e kids 2 absorb..

started on yoga classes. really therapeutic. tones me up, increases flexibility n increases my conc. level. just like other forms of exercise, as long as u dun believe in e religious aspects of it.

lost my hp @ marina square. how could anyone have any opportunity 2 steal my phone when i din leave it lying around n my friends were with me all e time? realised i have been dependent on my phone 2 e extent tat i felt lost without it. lost some of my contacts as a result. sighs..

a bro in christ broke up with her non-christian gf of 5 yrs cos they're unequally yoked.. must b feeling terrible. i guess time will help him 4get abt it. difficult decision but am proud of Him. blessed is one who reads God's words n obeys it. find comfort in e lord :)

2006-07-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest." matthew 11:28. this verse nv fails 2 give me comfort.

the more i read of God, the more i know Him, the more i love, admire n fear Him. His compassion, faithfulness, forgiveness shows in Adam n Eve, Jonah, e Israelites n throughout e Bible. how did He do it? He's God. wont b able 2 fully understand Him with my limited intelligence even if i read e Bible umpteen times. intriguing r his words. so glad i know Him. :)

had a gd long talk with daddy ytd during dinner. realised i havent looked clearly @ him 4 so long. he has aged. glad tat he's serving God with his heart n thankful 2 God 4 bringing him back 2 life when he had a car accident many yrs ago. may e Lord cont. to guide n bless Him. :)

filter out e bad influences... n please e Lord. so often tempted 2 do non-edifying things. not easy 2 resist. wear e armor of God!

2006-07-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

went for a service quality talk 2 days ago. made new friends. nice, mature, promising pple. they commented tat i was v friendly n will go far in life. feels real good 2 hear tat. :) felt as though i was flying into e sky. haha..

revision. what is service excellence? anticipating customers' needs b4 they ask you for it. eg. the waiter refills ur water when ur cup is half-finished. plus plus points if e waiter is handsome and smiles readily at me.. haha.. will b getting a sliver service quality award in nov, cos got patient compliment me n i meet e other criterias of e award. hehe.. proud of myself. it's a national award btw.. *beaming with pride* blessings from God. :) am coping well in e high dependency unit. e colleagues there aren't as fierce as i tot they were. good start. am more sure of my career pathway le. will b staying in nursing 4 long.

went dinner @ cystal jade with my family, without my father though. wanted 2 ask him 2 join us but... guess it takes time. celebrated daz grad, my award-getting, boyz's escape from death (he nearly drowned @ sentosa), n 2 wei lao mummy 4 working so hard n take care of us all. heheh.. we had a great time. e food was quite nice but a little too salty. e xiao long baos were superb!!! e soup gushed out e moment i bite into it. so tasty.. reminiscing.. yum yum..

sad tat Brods is out of superband le. they're so charming n both sing so well. wo yong yuan zhi chi ni men!!! jia you, wo kan hao ni men!!! haha.. me behaving like sec kids..

finally watching pirates of e carribean 2day with bird. looking forward.

2006-07-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

went 4 sis's graduation on e 10th. so proud of her. she looks gd in e grad. robe.. :) guess she has been looking forward 2 tat special moment of her life. embarking on a new journey, qian tu yi pian guang ming. all e best 2 u, daz! hope u'll get e scholarship n get a PHd in english language! way 2 go!

so many friends' b'days this mth. qi min, yu qin n zhen zuan. more expenditure too. hmm..
leaving infection department for intensive care area @ general surgery dept. last day on Sunday. a little she bu de but well, it's part of life. separation. things r well n more peaceful @ ID these days. gd working days. but i was real annoyed by my supervisor few days ago. forever so sarcastic. reached on time 4 work n she reprimanded me. she said i'm always late. when i'm early she nv praise me also wat. always enlarge our bad points n diminish our gd points. see us always scold n make sarcastic remarks. think she shld improve on her interpersonal skills. sometimes, she act friendly but i can't b bothered with her. i can't stand being fake. so hard 2 love this kind of pple. sighs.. how is a christian diff. from a non-christian if both love lovable pple n hates un-lovable pple? ponder..

zhen zuan was so excited ytd talking abt her b'day celebration. bought some jelly stuff. will make jelly tog b4 her bday celebration on next sun. guess it'll b fun.

vien was excited too abt her mamasan role on e bash in sch. sounds real cool. looking forward 2 c her in my cheongsam. haha.. might b a little too small 4 her though. hopefully she won't spoil it. haha..

planning activities 4 xiao zu tian di 2day. games, sharings, prayers n food!!! hope it'll all go well n smooth.

2006-07-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

i'm back 2 work after my night shifts. developed some skin allergy on my hands as a result of too frequent handwashing @ work. work hazard @ infection department. apparently, my colleague also has e same condition. it was terrible, it caused me 2 have itchiness n felt very sore when i washed my hands. e area was red n dry. one area was even infected cos i scratched it. luckily, my meds r working well on me. phew! it was really affecting me, so relieved now.

a misunderstanding bet. me n a friend was resolved. my heart feels lighter le. :) i understand tat a illness, esp a chronic one, can affect her so much tat she wants 2 give up fighting it n just die away.. complicated family. she feels very hurt n disappointed but aren't there things worth living for? she has nothing in e eyes of man but she has e Lord! isn't tat sufficient? hmm, she won't change her mind though i tried my best 2 persuade her. may e Lord touch her n change her mindset.

i want 2 study a part-time degree in nursing @ SIM, will b working @ e same time. sounds super tough. fees 17,000 plus. i'll b paying on my own, dun want more yrs of bond. n parents wont b paying 4 me, cos they're financially drained. need 2 shrimp n save le. target 2 finish saving by next yr n start studying.

2006-06-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

all turning 21 or already 21 le..
posing with e already-blown candles
church friends

yum seng!!! look @ guoyuan blocking his shirt
from e oil with e bowl. haha..

2006-06-26T18:52:00.000-07:00

e past wk was happening n hectic. ting's b'day celebration, shopping, camp n my 21st b'day!!! all of tat in e midst of work. met my colleague @ orchard n my church friends 4 dinner @ marina steamboat after church on tat special day. enjoyed myself, ate till so full n had great fun. though i din really organise n plan it properly, missed out some pple whom i wanted 2 invite. cos lazy 2 write a list. hehe.. thanks 4 e presents n 4 coming though u guys r so busy, dear friends.. really appreciate it. :) n thanks 2 my family esp mum, sis n bro 4 tolerating with my nonsense n loving me though i often take u guys 4 granted.. yet 2 bring u guys out 2 eat.

glad my fat bonus came right on time! 4 me 2 treat my colleague, friends.. n of course, shopping! haha.. suddenly there's a huge heap of presents n stuff i bought. it's time 2 pack b4 i hear nagging.. really wanna do a make-over. 4 fun. let's do it b4 we get old n ugly, ting.. haha.. suddenly my eyes swollen e next day after celebration. maybe allergic 2 some seafood or maybe cos i cried b4 i went 2 bed.

doing 4 night shifts starting 2day.. 2day will b challenging cos wont have senior staff with me. scary.. jia you, flor!

2006-06-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

sighs.. too many photos 2 upload. some disappeared after uploading.
irritating lor. next time try again.
was @ botanic gardens with sis n bro ytd.. bro wanted 2 take photos 2 send 4 photography competition. cool.. must say he's quite pro.. :) was very enjoyable. it really has been sometime since e 3 of us went out tog. took lots of photos. great 2 b close 2 nature. love it :)

dun know y sometimes i get so moody.. thinking n thinking, though i keep myself busy.. maybe i should just let go of certain things, maybe i'll b happier this way. maybe not. i need 2 b patient. wonder if it'll b worth e wait @ e end of e day.. sometimes, it's just not meant 2 b.. dun know wat i talking le.. whatever la..

no more runny nose 4 me but now got thick phelgmy cough. sighs.. doing night shift 2day.

2006-06-13T20:39:00.000-07:00

me n wanling @ a restaurant in shanghai
e fluorescent boards @ nanjing rd.
me outside e science centre @ shanghai
me n eunice @ a foodcourt
eating tie ban shao @ a restaurant

me n nyp choir friends @ cyvia's party

eerie huh..

2006-06-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

hey guys, i'm back from shanghai.. with lots of pressies..
was a fun-filled n educational trip with lots of bargaining, shopping, laughs, sharings n excursions.. the church aunties took great care of us. e yummy food, e naggings.. haha..
enjoyed hanging out with eunice n eudora. sweet gals they r.. felt great as eunice pat me 2 sleep n did foot massage 4 me. :) felt as if my child-like innosence has come back 2 me. haha.. n of course jas's qian bian wen da tis.. laugh until i cry.. n i do treasure e ling xiu sharings i had with jas during e trip. it was great. was encouraged n affected by jas's thirst 4 God's words. :)
a pity i couldn't extend my stay 2 climb huang shan tog with hong en, jasmin, wanling n yi qiang though.. hope everyone's safe n sound.

xiuhua is once again in critical condition. heard from her mum tat few days ago, she suddenly stopped breathing n e nurses n docs had 2 do resus 4 her. shocking.. am more concerned abt her spiritual life though. hope she'll turn back 2 God. pray tat she'll b fine. save her, Lord..

back 2 e real world though i'm still in e holiday mood. wake up, florence.. back 2 work man..

2006-05-28T02:16:00.000-07:00

had diarrhoea since friday, maybe it was food @ cgh. was there 2 do cheerleading 4 sgh's debate team. n we won!!! haha, had great fun playing with e pom poms. n it was indeed a rare sight 2 c our Sisters screaming their heads off n letting themselves loose. haha.. well done, sgh! all e best 4 grand finals with KKH!

still had diarrhoea 2day, cos i ate some spicy food which Sister treated us to ytd. first time they so nice. a measure to control e high mc rates these days. 4 staffs took mc on fri, including me.

6 more days away from shanghai trip!!! excited.. gtg, going 4 a friend's b'day party later. i'll b extra careful with wat i eat. wanna enjoy my holiday..

2006-05-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

my 3rd night of work 2day. 2 nights were over b4 i knew it. it is esp tiring to nurse very ill patients who can't even move an inch. even if they can, they'll b grasping 4 air with the slightest effort 2 move. how i fear that they die. how vulnerable life is.. one of my confused n ma fan patient died unexpectedly. not even on the dangerously ill list. maybe it's better 4 them this way, they can finally end their suffering. talked 2 Sister re: transfer to general surg n getting more manpower. seems like she could only arrange 4 e clerk 2 buy meals 4 us. dun think we could afford 2 go 4 breaks anyway.. but at least it showed tat she cared.

went 2 buy breakfast after work 2day, saw my senior nurse smoking. she lied to me tat she's getting sth from her car. i couldn't hide my disappointment. how could she? she's a nurse! she sure knows its negative effects on her health. sighs.. n she's not e only nurse i know who smokes. maybe i'm a little too judgemental, not right 2 impose my thinking on others. It's their lives anyway.. she said she smokes when there's lots of stress. but aren't there other ways 2 relieve stress? she's been thru a lot, gone thru e hard ways of life. but i still think it's just an excuse.

saw myself developing more patience when i talk 2 daddy nowadays. :) glory 2 e Lord!

lots of things going on.. tuition camp, flag day, meeting friends 4 dinner n window shopping, prep 4 e trip.. practically going out whenever i'm off duty this wk.

2006-05-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Yay! finally got chance 2 go somewhere far 4 holiday le. going shanghai from 3rd to 11th june with church friends. hehe.. am looking 4ward 2 it. :) actually was thinking of visiting e goat's farm, snow city, sentosa n play badminton during my annual leave. next time ba.

work, work n more work. but at least it's meaningful work. :) choose to do things the righteous way, it's real pleasing in God's eyes. u'll feel good, pple around u can c e diff. n b influenced. doing night shift from sun onwards. i seem 2 b doing nite shift every 2 weeks these days. tat'll mean more $$$. hehe, can save up 4 e trip.

was sad when i found out y my friend has been hostile towards me. ?!?! e reason sounds ridiculous. am @ a loss 2 wat i should do now. sighs.. sometimes kindness does not pay off. wat'll one do then? it is indeed not easy 2 love one who hates u.

2006-05-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

rested after working consecutively for 4 days. understaffed these days. always 4 nurses each shift nowadays, even for ultra busy morning shift. many dangerously ill patients. super-stretched. furthermore, have been going out after work these days. physically n mentally drained.. may i find rest in the Lord.

i saw my working conditions improve little by little as me n some other colleagues continued working hard. Wow, it wont b a drastic change all @ once but i'm seeing results. Thank God. we'll hold on and influence the others in our own quiet way. yeah, n i hope wendy and Rosie is doing well as they make effort 2 love their colleagues and try 2 change the situation in their environment. jia you, sisters! cont. to trust that e Lord will give us strength n power 2 live our lifes in His righteous way. :)

2006-05-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

wild pig fom the top.

dunno wat this fruit is called, cannot b found in s'pore. tastes nice though.
salted fishes @ a fisherman's house
door to door medical check-up
experts with their fishing nets. hang hang chu zhuang yuan.

these pics were taken @ balai about 10 days ago. love the simple life there. dun mind staying there for a few days or staying there when i am old.

2006-05-01T19:26:00.002-07:00

going back to work 2night. hope 2 get the rhythm back fast. well, din really spend my annual leave e way i wanted exactly. but i did get some getaway @ balai. glad God provided a new ju hui suo 4 e balai church and already have abt 70 pple going to the new place. :) wan shi hu xiang xiao li, jiao ai shen de ren de yi chu. may God cont. to guide pastor Yati and the ministry there.

the combination of clement n jason is really a terror. they just can't sit still and shut up for a minute. haha.. but they're funny n nv fail to amuse me.

baked apple and peach crumble ytd night with sis. we had fun. :) made 18 altogether but some were too crumbled, had trouble taking it out fom the patty tray. they tasted great! :) yummy stuff. giving it out to my friends. gtg buy tickets for a musical in july le. wanna watch fei xiang sing @ esplanade. can melt when i watch n hear him sing.

2006-04-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

2day's first day of my annual leave. enjoying the freedom of spending time. doing whatever, whenever. well, at least for this period of time. was preparing 4 debate tmr. yet 2 meet up with my team.. n e debate's tmr! ha.. later sure going 2 have a ultra long discussion. sianz, long but might not b fruitful. hmm.. taking it easy, just going 2 enjoy e process tmr. everyone 's attention on me while i speak. it's indeed breath-taking, esp with e nervousness. there' s a certain kind of thrill though.

lots of things lined up this AL week. gotta prepare for a 1 n a half hr Singspiration session 4 e you er kids in church, revision games 4 my sunday sch class, n e trip to Balai. hopefully get some exercise too. prob jogging or play badminton.

talking abt my sunday sch kids.. they're soooo adorable. 2 gals came up to me after lesson and told me tat they've been thinking and imagining ghosts around them. was quite amused. look @ wat the media has done 2 them, they prob watched too much ghosts movies. prayed with them about their fear and told them God is the almighty n is ever so powerful. They can b sure that He'll protect them. After service, they asked 4 my no.. feels nice 2 have such a bond with them. Heart-warming.. :)

2006-04-19T01:41:00.000-07:00

Real glad tat i started 2 become more consistent in reading e bible. yeah! jia you to me n fellow christians! was reading mark 8:38. "For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the son of man also will be ashamed when he comes in the glory of His father with the holy angels." am i ashamed of Him and His words? maybe not to the extent of denying or hiding the fact that i'm a christian but how much do i know about Him and His words? how prepared r we for e Lord's 2nd coming?

on night shift since ytd. slept till 3pm 2day. thankfully i had a heavy breakfast after work. was tiring, my mind n hands din stop throughout the whole night. slogged hard so it gives me reason 2 play hard too. yeah.. but gotta save cos i intend to take a nursing degree soon. already abt 10 mths since i worked as a nurse. being a working adult is indeed not fun. must think so much before i do everything. eg. where my money goes cos i've got so many things 2 pay for. but life's still beautiful n i still enjoy certain things in life. singing ktv, dressing up, shopping, watch gd movies, hanging out with friends n kids. dun really get 2 c close friends tat often anymore cos everyone's busy. but it's the quality time tat matters, isn't it?

piggy's 21st b'day, daz's bday n 2nd round of nursing debate is just around e corner. helping piggy plan her big day. quite a headache cos she's so fickle. hmm..

going on annual leave next wk after this wk of night shift. will b relatively free. drop me a msg so tat i can meet up with u guys. looking forward. am going Balai (indonesia) from 29th to 30th april. keep me in prayers ya.

2006-04-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

white orchids with a tinge of pink!

compare n contrast. e real flowers r lovier.

heart formation held tog by sis!

dun e flowers look diff. with such a leafy backing?

Fishy's home in e kitchen! e fishes r too tiny to b seen here.

it has been tough at work but God nv fails 2 cheer me up. :) was complaining 2 my church friend how tiring n stressed out i was. no food, no drinks, no toilet break throughout e whole shift. n my friend actually appeared in front of me with snacks in his hands. so sweet. little things pple do can lift up ur spirits 4 e whole day. tat same day mummy gave me snacks 2 eat @ work too. i am so pampered. ha! ate so much ytd 4 supper. hopefully i'll get fat.

There're additions to my family. 9 of them. cute little fishes. not sure of their species though. the male fishes look more attractive than the females. they have red tails. there's one real fat fishy. it's either she eats too much or she's pregnant.. it can b real relaxing n joyful to watch them after a long day. the simple joys of life. :)

went for bible study @ hakka methodist church last tues. the lesson was inspiring. though we only went though e first 10 verses in Philippians, i felt i learnt a lot. it was v detailed with some background info n cross-references. God's words are so full. i was encouraged to read the Bible more. i urge fellow christians 2 go 4 it too. e lesson's in english. @ hakka methodist church @ 730pm on tuesdays.

2006-03-26T21:30:00.000-08:00

Love test - animal test. it's quite accurate 4 me. try it.

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one that you care not only about the present but
also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship
that you can grow with.

6. You are tolerant; you'll try very hard not to commit adultery.

7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your
freedom.

8. At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady
relationship, you just want to flirt around.

http://naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

2006-03-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

went for flower arrangement on fri. e flowers were gorgeous. esp the white orchids with a tinge of light pink. looks as if they were blushing. ha. think me n sis did a great job. hallelujah! am looking forward to doing flower arrangements 4 a wedding in june. it'll be real challenging. got quite some church events coming up. my pastor's wife will b conducting puppetry classes 4 sun sch teachers 4 us 2 'wow' e kids. 1 day kids camp, easter celebration with e tuition kids, n also medical service @ balai on 29th april. i do wish 2 go but whether i'm able to is another thing. sighs. seems like i'm aways changing my shift. n my supervisors aren't v happy cos of tat. sometimes gotta prevent doing certain things just 2 please pple. tat's life.

some joyful news. yeah. enjoyed working ytd. was a gd combination of staff. :) my gd friend @ work just got into a relationship. happy 4 her. n my church friend's mum finally decided 2 accept God. i know it must have been a big struggle 2 her cos she has been a buddhist for v long. glad another life's saved. do hope i can help bring her to church so tat her spiritual life can blossom.

a sis in christ was sharing abt her missionary trip @ algeria. she went alone with two other missionaries whom she din know well. heard tat e christians there really face immense persecution. they can get killed for just claiming tat they're christians. n the librarian in church there had 2 leave his wife n kids just because he wanted 2 b a christian. wat strong faith. think i'm really v blessed 2 b living in s'pore. maybe too blessed. Would i still choose 2 follow God if i were in tat librarian's shoes?

was reading ytd's newspaper n chanced upon an article of local youths and their views on sex. according to a survey carried out on abt 500 teens, one in four had sex. the stats r indeed worrying. wat's e world coming to?

2006-03-22T21:06:00.000-08:00

Tots 4 e day

2day's another off day. finally managed 2 drag myself out from bed @10am 2 enjoy e fresh air n morning breeze. am always reminded of God's intelligence n power whenever i take time 2 gaze upon his creations. i love nature. went jogging, played with a swing, wrote on sand. love being alone sometimes. i rem playing on swings with my bro n sis when we were still young. those were e days. we'll always have titbit sessions @ e void deck where e swing is. playing with see-saws, chasing each other. ha.. sometimes i wish i could go back in time.

e last day of my night shift was a drama. how so? one of my patient was on the dangerously ill list. Her BP was as low as 90/40. a matter of time tat she goes. Her caregiver - the son, is in state of denial and just can't let go. While his mum was still gasping for breath, struggling to live on, he said he wanted to die and be buried beside his mum. ironic huh. His face was pale n was fainting. we quickly got him a chair, blanket, a hot drink n notified e night Sister n security. e other relatives consoled him n soon he was feeling better. on e same night, another of my patient kept bleeding per vagina. advanced Ca cervix n she's only 30 plus. it worries me 2 see e amt. of blood. no adrenaline packing 4 her cos it'll be futile. there's nothing much we could do except to give her blood transfusion n keep her in bed. i realised there's so little man can do. so limited but i'll do all i can 4 my patients to keep them safe n comfortable with God's love in me! :)

what's most impt in your life? friends? family? money, status, fame? "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17.

2006-03-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

many things happened in these 2 weeks. like a drama. complaint directed me, i fell sick, a brawl broke out bet. 2 colleagues, my gd friend broke up with her doctor bf, my colleague left for mount E and i had a go at debating.

tat "fine" day i was working with a part time SSN. She was super lazy, just sat @ the nurses' counter the whole day. I had to cover all of her duties, somemore got dangerously ill patient. helped her assist dr, give meds, answer callbells, do all e dressings, blah blah. was fuming like mad. tat day, we had 2 complaints. one was cos tat SSN refused to attend to a patient's relatives who was highly demanding, the other was directed @ me n my colleague for not giving iv painkiller earlier. as usual, we had scolding sessions with our managers. after work, that SSN apologised to me, but i refused to talk to her. was already feeling sick after such a day @ work. e next day was supposed to wake up @ 5.30am for am shift but had a bad flu and sorethroat. overslept n 4got 2 tell my supervisor tat i wasn't coming. got a shouting session from her. took mc n din tell her how long my mc was, cos it's my rest day e next day. got another shouting session from her. din dare 2 take mc though i was still sick the following days. i went 2 my other supervisor 2 complain abt tat SSN. apparently, someone else has already complained abt her.

it's a bad environment 2 work in. A scolding supervisor, many lazy colleagues, no team spirit, demanding relatives, very ill patients. It's really tiring n taxing 2 work in such a place. N i see some of my once-hardworking colleagues slacking cos few nurses actually care abt the patients nor is our supervisor going 2 recognise their efforts if they cont to work hard. i wonder how long i can still hold out. Aren't they nurses because they wanna help patients recover and should do all things for the good of the patients? i can't stand it!!! should i attempt 2 change them? could i do it on my own?

went 2 debate ytd. was fun and enjoyable. think i faired well. the topic was "Advanced practice nursing is not applicable in singapore." guess a lot of pple dun know wat advanced practice nursing is. Advanced Practice Nurses r nurses who have Masters in Nursing and can practice like junior doctors. APNs are well-received overseas. however, i think the status of nurses in s'pore must improve b4 the introduction of APNs.

2006-03-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

last week was real stressful. had 2 work when i had 2 plan church activities like children's worship n sat's fellowship. glad it all went well in God's hands. shared a passage abt mary n martha (luke 10:38-42) during fellowship. it reminded me 2 turn my eyes upon Jesus even when i'm busy with many things. glad tat e rest benefited from it too. May we have a heart like mary's n e feet of martha.

went 4 ktv with my colleagues few days ago. was quite fun. finally heard them sing. after tat we shared with each other abt scary encounters in e hospital.. till some of us got so scared. well, i think there's nothing much 2 fear if u've done nothing terrible 2 them. besides, i've God with me. :)

was sooo drained ytd after work. cos understaff. got out of e ward @ around 5pm when i'm supposed 2 end @ 315pm.. did 4 dressings n gave all e meds (iv n oral) all by myself.. felt like a machine @ e end of day. just worked n worked n worked. no time 2 stop n take break. think i lost weight again. sighs.. met piggy after work 2 buy present 4 my bro. spent sometime 2 choose e best one 4 him, glad he liked it. my family had chang shou mian 4 dinner n ate mango cake after tat. superb man.. wat a long day it was. finally 2day got day off.. just nice.

lots of activities 2day. visit my friend, tuition in church, bird's 21st b'day party, n fellowship (playing captain's ball 2day). finally some exercise. hmm, wont b much of a rest day 4 me.

2006-02-17T20:32:00.000-08:00

watched i not stupid 2. sooooo touching, cried 4 times thru out e show. it's gd reflection on how pple treat kids who dun do well in sch, as well as e communication prob with us s'poreans. **** rating movie in my opinion. i once had a gd friend who was in ITE n mixed with those ah beng n ah lians, think she sorta have no choice but 2 mix with them. actually, i feel tat most of them aren't really tat bad, just tat society shaped them this way. now, we've lost contact. or maybe i should say we din wanna stay in contact after some incidents. heard from vien tat she's working @ a ktv nowadays. i've even dreamt of meeting her in my dreams. i wonder wat i'll do if i c her ever again.. sighs.. toking abt ktv, i do hope 2 go sing soon. craving..

goin 2 church 4 discussion then doing nite shift. my department has just started functioning as an infection department. hope things r settled n i wont get so much of "shit" 2nite.

so happy, bought a french-style white top ytd while shopping. super nice n i wanted 2 get one sometime ago. looks formal though. next on my shopping list is a pair of new specs or maybe contact lens. haven decide whether 2 still wanna wear contacts anot cos of e neg health effects.
wait till i get my pay la.

2006-02-12T22:11:00.000-08:00

last wk was super busy n stressed up cos of changes at work n lots of church activities. tried out puppeting during worship session for e kindergarden kids in church on sun tog with some teachers. fun! such a nice feeling 2 work with enthusiastic pple. sth diff for e kids, was well-received. thank god.

really think working on kids is highly enjoyable n uplifting. can consider teaching them as an alternative career. not exactly sure wat i wanna do after my nursing bond though.

going back 2 work on wed. i dread going to intensive care area 2 work. so noisy, machines beeping all e time cos they're very sensitive. n somethings i'm still not v sure of. got scolded by my senior tat day. harsh environment.

things really press on my nerves sometimes.. nearly got complaint letter directed 2 us on sat. tat day got 7 discharges. One patient's daughter had 2 collect e meds from e pharmacy by herself. well, she couldnt wait. she was already unhappy abt tat. n, we din have anymore wheelchairs 4 her mum 2 wheel downstairs. i merely suggested 2 her she could get a wheelchair at level 1. i really din have anymore manpower, n so much more work 2 do. she got super worked up n started chiding me, threatened 2 complain somemore. " Don't tell me this is the kind of service u provide at e great SGH? it's totally unacceptable......" no choice, i had 2 apologise, get e wheelchair n wheel her mum (2 n a half times my size) down since she was already so angry. n they had 2 request 4 L sized pampers, making me run so many places just 2 get it. I was sooooooo pissed n frustrated. close 2 tears but yet had 2 smile n pretend it's fine. y can't pple understand tat nurses have sooooo much 2 do n soooo many responsibilities? all e shit. everything from resusistation to monitoring, to serving meds, to spondging e patients, to faxing, to documenting, to doing wound dressings n procedures, to coordinating with drs n other healthcare professionals, to educating, to clearing bedpans, to serving diets. n providing gd service above all tat. sometimes, i think i am going crazy cos of work. luckily, there's God 2 comfort me. Dear Lord, make me brave, strong n patient.

2006-02-12T21:48:00.000-08:00

me n my jing xin jie zuo. taken sometime ago.
petite arrangement. nice!
gift from pei n bird on my 20th birthday! sleeps with me.
my family "dog". its name is loose neck. gift from church friends. cute!

2006-02-01T00:59:00.000-08:00

Fun with family on chu er...
mama, me n sis @ marina. mum looks irritated.

me n sis posing @ void deck
e 3 beauties @ singapore river. small merlion @ e back. do we look alike?
finally a pic with tall bro.
nice, gigantic lantern in my fav colour@ marina square atrium.

2006-02-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

changed my blogskin. love it. simple n nice like me. ha.. happy CNY to all. went visiting after work ytd. went 2 my preceptor's hse, had yu sheng n learnt abit of majong. then hilda's hse. tried 2 play with her hamster but was too scared 2 hold it. it looks real cute though. was tempted 2 gamble @ her hse but was glad i stood firm n refused. i nearly gave way. thank God. was so tired by e end of e day. only woke up @ 12pm 2day.

am enjoying my break yet again. 4 days including today. wanna learn sth new. maybe jap language. or a private course on early childhood education. or a make-up course.

2006-01-25T01:46:00.000-08:00

hmph.. unable 2 load some pics of my treasured possessions cos of some "cookies" thingy. next time ba.

started on another round of night shift since ytd. a relatively peaceful nite. thank God. 3 more nites 2 go! was at tb plaza b4 work 2 check on my bank account. a few foreign gals asked me whether it was possible 4 them 2 transfer cash 2 a friend. i asked them 2 proceed 2 e bank at level 1 when it was already 8pm.. blurblur me.. e bank was already closed!!! oops.. too late, e gals already not in sight. was a little disorientated without my watch n after sleeping for long hrs.

2day's finally pay day! waited real long 4 it, esp since i was in debts. owed mum $$$ cos of insurance deductions. have 2 keep a tighter sleign on my finances this mth. i wanna save! glad new yr's here. already started munching on new yr goodies. potato chips, fav coconut biscuits. throat uncomfortable n pimple popping out liao. effective remedy: flush down with lots of H20!

was given a chance 2 learn when me n another sis-in-christ taught our fellowship abt gospel contents last sun. was real stressed up cos it was solid stuff. was glad God brought us thru it all. huo yi bu qian.

read 2day's issue of mind ur body. it said research shows tat pet owners live longer n r happier. i want a real dog too, ting. hmm.. dream dream dream.. prob one from SPCA. watched news e day b4 ytd. news tat owners abandon their pets after new yr n SPCA had no choice but 2 ren dao hui mie as they didnt have enough space 4 so many. poor pets, mostly dogs. irresponsible pple. y didnt they think n consider thoroughly b4 they get one? e tot of it makes me angry.

2006-01-25T01:16:00.000-08:00

this pic would b gd health promotion 2 kids. e slogan could go

"even a mouse? hamster?

brushes his teeth regularly, do u?" cute.

vien looks so sweet n demure.

me, ting n choco!

naughty, sneaky ting.

cute humpty dumpty which i spinned from machine. gave my bro when he was taking Os, to spur him on. couldnt find e machine where it used 2 b when i wanted 2 spin another 4 pei..

2006-01-18T19:45:00.000-08:00

here i come updating my blog..
was lookin thru my past entries n realised tat i dun have much photos in here..
shall upload some later.

am on leave right now till this sun.. din go on holiday but i din waste it just lazing ard.
went out with friends these days.
had a great time catching up esp with chris who's back from new york. i really do wanna go overseas n experience independent life, at least for 1 yr ba.. when i get a chance, i'll go. see e big world out there. have been cooped up in spore for long. she'll b a dr's assistant in 4 yr's time n she promised 2 hire me when she sets up a clinic over there.. by then, i'd have already finished my 3 yr bond with sgh. Yay!

my department will b converted 2 infection department soon. it'll b more tough but i'm ready 4 e challenge. gotta wear protective gown, mask n maybe even goggles.. quite ma fan..

am glad 2 have started on writing a daily journal on my walk with God. yeah.. finally. so tat i can remember how God moulded me 2 b e person he wants me 2 be, n also b more thankful for e blessings tat he has bestowed upon me. :)

2006-01-08T19:16:00.000-08:00

SGH dinner n dance @ suntec. retro theme.. FUN!

Mr. handsome with 3 chicks! hehe..

cute me! haha..

2006-01-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

just keep raining... y not snow? i wanna see REAL SNOW!!! hmm, gotta b realistic.. quite free from work this wk.. was talking 2 sis n she was telling me she wanna keep studying till she gets a PhD.. ask me 2 finance her.. definitely not cheap, man.. but i got so many things 2 pay for.. y me?!? tat's unfair.

a friend told me she just broke up with her bf.. wonder how she's now. keep calling her but she nv pick up, replied me msgs though.. a little worried. talking abt e prob will help ease e pain a little, gal. give me a call when u feel better ya.. really think it's really more worthwhile 2 invest time in friendships n family.. at least it's not as fragile n jing1 bu4 qi3 kao3 yan4 as romantic love. but rem, pple can fail n disappoint u but God won't.. this helped me pull thru my last breakup..

some days ago, sth ridiculous happened 2 me. i was going home at abt 10pm after work n saw a little gal asking 4 directions at SGH. i stopped 2 help.. n asked her where's she actually going, where her parents r.. she gave me a blur look n told me her mum (a patient there) ask her 2 go home herself. i finally got 2 her mum n her mum actually asked me 2 bring her kid home! n she didnt beg me or thank me at all! wat kind of parent is tat.. n their home's at AMK!!! when i'm staying so near sgh n gotta wake up @ 530am e next day 4 work! i told e mum tat it wasn't my responsibility 2 bring her home.wanted 2 scold but controlled myself.. i couldnt let e poor gal go home herself so i went with her. ended up taking cab home. wonder if i'm too stupid or just too kind.. hao3 ren2 bei4 ren2 qi1. sighs..

2005-12-28T00:15:00.000-08:00

this yr's xmas wasnt very special or happening. well, not exactly e way i wanted it. had 2 work in e day, n even packed up a patient. Wat a day it was.. but, i enjoyed meeting my soulmates piggy n bird 4 e celebration.. we took photos with my new camera phone. Fun! this yr, for a change, we din tell each other wat we want. we went ahead 2 buy wat we felt each other would like or needed. think it's more fun n exciting this way, though piggy begs 2 differ.. i feel it's not abt how ex e presents r or how fanciful e card is but it's e tot tat counts. i'll easily b contented with just a simple, sincere card.. christmas is abt loving friends n family around u, cos God first loved us! :)

didnt get e chance 2 meet some of my buddies from sch choir n poly though.. tat includes sharon, jen, xiuhui, yu qin, cyvia n jerald.. we r all so busy, hard 2 arrange our outings. hmm.. nvm, next time. Am looking forward 2 meeting ting n vien on sun! another gossip session. Yeah!

got scolded by my supervisors again.. well, i deserved it for delaying 2 pass up my competency checklist when i knew it was long due.. n i'm ready 2 get a round of screaming n shouting session from my other supervisor.. God bless me, man..

brought my friend 2 do wound dressing at polyclinic ytd when i was supposed 2 b sleeping at home before i work at night. it's really hard 2 refuse pple in need. Glad 2 know tat her wound's healing fast n her gait's more steady liao. it's real scary 2 know tat her yang3 fu4 actually likes her. not in a fatherly sense but e romantic BGR sense.. hmm, dunno how 2 help except 2 advice her 2 protect herself esp since they r living in e same hse..

jia jia you ben nan nian de jing.. not sure wat 2 do 4 my dad. should i seek psychological help 4 him? it's so hard not 2 b irritated with him.. little things he do or says, make me frustrated. isn't a home supposed 2 b warm n cosy? how i envy my friends who have nice, warm, close-knitted families.

2005-12-15T21:19:00.000-08:00

it's been a looooong time since i got here.. busy.. am juggling work, church n play quite well. pleased with myself.. supposed 2 work 2day but took mc, having a cold n sorethroat. apparently, e supervisor wasn't happy abt it n thinks i faked it.. dun care, i'm entitled 2 medical leave k. Besides, if i can't even take care of myself then no need 2 say take care of e patients liao.. started on reading a self-enrichment bk called "the fred factor". it's abt a guy named Fred who takes pride n has great passion 4 his work though he's just a postman.. awed n inspired.

will b going 4 SGH dinner n dance tmr.. am looking forward 2 it.. retro theme. havent decided which look 2 go for.. glamorous, funky or demure.. think i suit e demure look more. Hmm.. wonder if i'll meet prince charming there.. hehe.. then i'll leave at midnight n leave my glass slipper behind.. haha, fantasy fantasy..

looking forward 2 watching a musical - Oi! sleeping beauty tmr with with pei. had such a hard time getting e tickets n deciding on the date cos we r both so busy.. really hope it's worth all e hassle man..

spent so much on xmas presents.. but am so contented n satisfied with choosing appropiate ones 4 friends n family n buying them all. retail therapy 4 me n also contribute 2 e economy.. trying 2 justify myself. can imagine much fun wrapping presents n writing cards. tat's e spirit of xmas! dun understand how some guys can b so indifferent abt it.. hohoho..

so happy tat i get an off day on xmas eve n day shift on 25th itself!!! desired schedule! :)

2005-11-29T10:30:00.000-08:00

Got scolded by supervisor when i was on night shift.. well, i did make a mistake n learnt from it. It was hard 2 just keep quiet when confronted, esp when she sounded so fierce n intimidating. i've learnt 2 bear with it. i dun like working at night, hard 2 stay alert.

happy 4 my friend at work.. things r working out bet. her n e guy she likes.. i'm positive tat e guy likes her too.. haha..

It's rest day 2day again! am going 4 harry potter n tennis game.

2005-11-17T14:30:00.000-08:00

Had so much 2 b do these days.. was helping out my friends. I have a friend who has renal failure n needs 2 do dialysis 3x a wk. She developed complications from cellulitis - necrotic fascilitis. A flesh eating bacteria.. sounds terrible. But was well enough 4 discharge on tues. She has probs walking long distances n seeing near objects. financial probs as well. It's real terrible 2 b sick. I can see e helplessness in patients' eyes when i work. But i can't spend much time with every patient cos got so many things 2 do. I know my presence with them can ease their anxiety n loneliness. but.. Hmm.. i wonder when nurses can actually getaway with e paperwork n admin stuff 2 give patients more quality care.

Was preparing for sun sch this wk. had so many ideas but dun know which one 2 choose 4 my dear kids. i want the best for them. Best is they get interested in e activity, have fun n learn sth from it. Have decided on which commitments 2 take up in church next yr. n i believe these are wat God wants me 2 do. Shall cont teaching e kids in sun sch n flower arrangement. Such a pity i cant be in e church choir anymore. i want to, but i can't take up tat commitment cos of my shift work. Trust n obey.

Had 2 off days n i'm going back 2 work 2day. n it's my first night shift as a qualified nurse. a little jittery n worried. guess it's only normal.

Everybody's getting sick around me. n i'm having a sore throat when intense choir pracs r going on! pls do take care, esp those mugging. :) Stress does decrease immunity n therefore make us more vulnerable to diseases. Scientifically proven. do take rest n relax bet. mugging sessions.

2005-11-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

had a real long day ytd. aching all over when i woke up 2day. let me tell u wat happened ytd tat resulted in my present state.

Early in e morning at 9am , i met a super busy friend 4 breakfast @ tb market. No choice, we couldnt meet up at other timings.. well, it was gd fellowship though. Then my mum pulled me out 2 shop as soon as i reached home after breakfast. So, we went 2 shop at chinatown - her fav place.. couldnt help but notice our difference in taste of accessories.. was looking out for choir performance costume at e same time.

Met my friends @ chinatown n saw some batik cloth, ready-made batik long skirts.. Then we went into a building at little india. felt a little intimidated when i got into tat area. Aha! there we found real cheap sarongs with lots of designs which looked all abt e same 2 me.. gave me headaches just looking at them. Bought e sarongs there n then. Glad 2 have settled on tat.

After tat, went home n changed into sporty attire, all ready 2 play tennis with friends. But it was drizzling, so we had dinner n watched Sky High instead. It was entertaining. when i got 2 tb, so suay, got pestered by e prudential agents once again. One particular agent went 2 e extent of blocking my way. So irritating, waste my time again.. He showed off tat he's in top 20, i can see y.. prob cos of his pushiness. but he did make some sense n i needed 2 save. so, ended up paying $100 as premium..

Guess wat? when i came home, sis was threatening 2 move out next sem if dad doesn't clear his trash. tiredness n heaviness added on.

next rest day, i shall just stay home n relax. If tat's possible...

2005-11-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

Late!
went to play badminton with church friends. Late as usual but e venue was far away from my hse... plus they started at 8am! sacrificed my beauty sleep lor.. Only played for 45 mins. needed some exercise since i ate plenty of unhealthy food. snacks n kfc... how could i resist? hehe... tat sounds like lame excuse.. wish 2 gain some weight but not e unhealthy way pls... Went 2 ting's blog. saw all e good-looking snacks... yum yum. indeed mouth-watering but i wonder if i'd bear 2 eat such a piece of art..

Were discussing some sinning issue during lunch with church friends. A was saying burning cds is ok 2 him n he does tat. B thinks it's not ok as it's dishonesty, illegal n simply not pleasing in God's side. Therefore, B does not burn cds n discourages A not to. I'm on B's side. But i understand A's struggles. We r all so susceptible 2 sinning. It takes a sensitive heart to realise wat's right n wrong in God's sight. It's hard, but we ought to keep away from all sins if we love God. We r responsible 4 all tat we do on earth. I always ask myself, would God b satisfied with me when the day of judgement comes?

enough of the heavy stuff. wish 2 change my habit of being late.. it's actually my 2005 new yr resolution. I didn't really keep 2 it. Oops..

2005-11-02T10:42:00.000-08:00

2 days off from work. Sometimes I feel lost when i suddenly get a break away from the marketplace environment at work. Suddenly dun know wat to do with my time.. Such a chore to plan.

Going out with mum then for choir prac. Phantom of e opera ringing in my ear. Such a long time since i last went out with mummy.

2005-10-31T23:30:00.000-08:00

The time intervals between my posts r getting wider++... It really is a commitment 2 keep a blog updated.

Tot of having a tiny cute dog after talking 2 a friend who has one.. Hmm. I'll get 2 walk it, feed it, play with it, bathe for it... But no space at home for it anyway. N would be quite a chore to keep e house free from its faceces.. Hmm.. Next time if i get a house on my own, i'd want one.

Went to work ytd. Nearly made a medication error.. Luckily, my colleague stopped me in the nick of time. Thank God! I wouldn't want to endanger anyone's life with my mistake.

One of my patients asked me y not i change job... maybe to an air stewardess? She said it's such a waste for such a pretty-face to be a nurse. Haha, thanx for e compliment but I dun want tat. A pretty face won't last n i dun like taking planes.

2005-10-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Found this poem very meaningful, came upon it in email. It's written by an old lady who was nursed till she passed away. Simple. Btw, i shortened it a little in e middle...

Crabby Old Woman
"What do you see, nurses? What do you see?
What are you thinking When you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, Not very wise, Uncertain of habit, With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food And makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice The things that you do,
And forever is losing A stocking or shoe?
Who, resisting or not, Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, You're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, As I eat at your will. "...
(She tells of her life from a child to a teenage to a mother to a grandmother with a dead spouse)...
"And I think of the years And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman And nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass A young girl still dwells,
And now and again, My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living Life over again.
I think of the years All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, Open and see,
Not a crabby old woman; Look closer . . see ME!! "

Hmm.. Do I actually treat a patient emotionally, beyond just doing tasks n following routines? Do I look into their heart and find out why they're anxious or worried? Do I love them enough? Am I concerned? Well, it wont be easy 2 do tat cos of the heavy workload but can try... This is gd reflection.
And i'm glad tat life for me doesn't just end when my body dies away. I'll be together with God in heaven where there's no pain nor suffering, enjoying fellowship. =)

2005-10-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

Busy working shift these days. Eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep... Not much of a social life since becoming a nurse. Pay day today! =) Finally! Owe mum so much $$$ and havent been giving the amt of offerings tat i actually want to. Wonder where it all went. Gotta work on controlling my finances since i gotta start repaying dad's cpf (cos i used his cpf for schooling fees previously).

Will be performing with NYP choir at e end of e yr. Yay! How i miss choral performing... not v sure i can get leave tat day though.. cos everyone will b clearing leave then. Gotta get it by hook or by crook! hmm, tat sounds evil..

Was quite affected by wat happened to my gd friend at work.. so poor thing, scolded by Sister n colleagues talking behind her back. She cried, i consoled. But she refused to tell me wat happened. !? why wont she tell me? hmm.. Think it's so tough for PRCs to work here. Most tend to have communication prob at work, dun have much social support here and the Sisters seems to b prejudiced against them.

2005-10-19T06:28:00.000-07:00

nice sky n few boats from afar... so pretty.

Toliet! looked better than i imagined...

Naughty naughty.. how dare he cover my face!

2005-10-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Back from Balai. Huo4 yi4 bui4 qian3. Saw enthusiasium in the aunties who started learning Malay to better cater to the community there. Some others impressed me with their love for the pple there. I saw the need for more ministry workers. May God send pple there to do His works and may the chosen ones be sensitive to know God's will to obey Him. Balai is such a nice place for a get-away from buzzy life in singapore. Nice scenary, simple lifestyle. Can consider living there in my later yrs. Ha!

I got to know a retired nurse from AMK Methodist Church. It was so comfortable talking to her. She's sooo motherly. We had earnest sharings with each other. Finally found someone who really understood the stress to be on nursing duty and provided me with great advice. Wow! Thank God for the chance to meet her. =) Everything happens for a reason. It may be to learn a lesson, strengthen u... Whatever it is, God has it all planned. What intelligence! =)

2005-10-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days since i last wrote. I'm on annual leave again (till Tues)! Time to rest and relax. Some gd news to share. Beginning to find meaning in working as a nurse. It's a form of my worship to Him. Upon realisation, i suddenly dun find it so much of a chore to go work nowadays. Halleujah! "Whatever u do, do it for God and not for Man." These words spoke to me when i was reading The Purpose Driven Life. Do things not for urself but for the pleasure of God. That way, i can be patient when it comes to serving difficult patients because i know God loves all. And He'll want me to love them all too.

Played badminton today early in the morning with piggy (Here's what u wanted - me to mention u in e blog. Haha.) Feels great to sweat it all out. It's been a long while since playing badminton was strenuous, not cos i'm pro but cos i was too lazy run during the games. ha! how lazy can i get. Reached home at abt 4pm n refused to bathe after the game cos i was so tired. Went straight to bed. Zzz. Just wanna encourage piggy to lose weight. U can do it, gal! Think u just need to be proactive and determined abt it.

Was teased by my choir friends for not knowing directions well. It's true and I'm not afraid of admitting it.

Will be going to Balai (in Indo) for a short missionary trip this weekend. Mixed feelings abt it. Excited as well as a little worried, cos will be going with pple i dun really know well. Trust that God will work things out. Leave it all to Him. Will be providing medical service to the residents there n also help during their sunday sch n services. Hope i do get a chance to spread the gospel n learn from the experience. Am curious to know whether u guys have heard abt the Gospel. If u have, what do u think abt it?

2005-10-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures i took abt 1 week ago. Enjoy! :)

Plant at home, providing O2...during photosynthesis...YAY!

marble floor that I walk on at home...

The pathway at the void deck. Nice rite? proud of myself

piggy's house plant with haircut....OOi!

shadows on pathway....

2005-10-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

Went for church class gathering early in the morning ytd. This time with our long-lost friend who left church in P6. The world is so so small. I first saw him at NYP choir where i went back as alumni. Found him familar, esp his eyes. So distinct. Then, i discovered during supper while chatting with him that he's actually my ex-churchmate! Enjoyed the breakfast session. Am surprised what the others remember abt him. Think it'll be intriguing to know how our memory works. In the twinkling of an eye, we've all grown into young adults. Some already gotten driving licence or are already working.

Went back to work. A little lost but glad things went smoothly.

Received an sms from my ex. Could feel my heart become heavier after reading it. He's still brooding over the breakup and think he feels guilty about it. Well, what's past has passed. We did have wonderful memories together and i do dream abt it, wishing that we're still together. But, i don't think it's possible unless he's willing to commit. Not that i blame him abt it. Everybody makes mistakes and i've forgiven him in the grace of God. Have faith that God gets rid of ALL of ur sins, only if u come before him to seek His forgiveness. And u can overcome any fear with God as He has already overcome Death+ Sin+ Satan with His resurrection after death.

2005-10-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

I do have a dream. That is, to be a caring nurse. Currently, i'm already working as one but am still adjusting to the line. And, I've discovered that it's not as easy as i expected it to be when i stepped into the school. I do feel scared when my patient collapse on me and i remembered how it felt like when i first did last office for a patient who died just minutes ago. It was quite traumatic for me. Thank God i got over it. I guess it's true that wan4 shi4 qi3 tou2 nan2. There were other aspects that i didn't like. All the admin work and the doctors - so irritating. Always have to hound them to get things done and does things half-way. Situations become real trying when demanding patients come my way too. so stressful. I cried out numerous times to God. Only he knows what exactly i've been going through. I'm so so glad that i've God in my life and He supplies me with all the emotional strength and patience at work. :)

I started to wonder if nursing is really the job for me. Unsure. What is God's purpose for me? ( i'm looking for the answer in "Purpose-driven life" by Rick Warren. finally i started to read.) For now, i've decided to hang on and see how it goes. There have been encouragements from family, friends and patients though. Patients wrote in to praise me for the love and care i showered upon them. It feels real good to be appreciated. :)

That's about nursing. Here's sth else.
My dad really worries me. Ever since he met with an accident abt 8 yrs ago, he loves to collect junk like a garang guni. He uses the house as the storeroom. U can imagine what my house looks like. To him, it is his way of contributing additional $$$ to the family. (Btw, he has a proper job as a security guard). How much can he earn with that? With the junk at home, the whole family feel so itchy from the dust and insects which comes along with them. We've talked to him so many times but he's so stubborn. We tried throwing the junk away when he's out but he'd carry it back again. And he suffers from injuries these days when he falls along the road or some drain for one reason or another. When will he ever learn?